I completed a 10 day Vipassana retreat in Pecatonia, IL. Vipassana is a meditation technique that originated from India and means ‘to see things as they really are.’ It was taught by Buddha as a method to eradicate suffering and liberate people from bondage. S.N Goenka brought the technique back to India, where it spread and is now taught at centers around the world in the tradition of Sayagyi U Ba Khin.
We generate negativities within ourselves daily that get suppressed or create tension in the body, which ripples out into the world around us. When someone does or says something we don’t like, we become unhappy. When we don’t get what we want we become unhappy. This continues throughout life as unwanted things continue to happen or are done to us and we become miserable, try to escape, or suppress the emotion deep into the unconscious. The cause of suffering lies within, in our reactions to things we experience. We can change ourselves, rather than trying to change others to behave as we want them to.
Vipassana is both mentally and physically challenging, requiring one to sit for hours in one position. However, the benefits of this practice is that it can balance the mind (equanimity), relieve suffering at the root level, and has the potential to liberate. By observing our breath and the sensations that arise in the body, we observe the emotions, cravings, aversions, rather than reacting, until it passes, thus eradicating the issue from our mind over time as the impurities lessen in strength. Eventually the mind becomes purified from negativities, bringing peace and harmony regardless of the external situation.
Vipassana Experience
The experience I had at the center was one of the most transformative things I’ve done. During the course you’re not allowed to talk, read, listen to music so as to minimize any distractions from external, so that one can focus on the internal. We are given breakfast and lunch, while dinner is only fruit or tea. This made me appreciate having a hot meal, especially when it got cold outside. I ate things I normally would not eat and it was fulfilling because it was a hot meal that someone made for me out of charity.
I would take walks in the prairie when it warmed up in the afternoon, observing all aspects of nature. The dried corn fields rustling in the wind, geese flying overhead, dead animals and poop, the unpleasant sound of gunshots as it was hunting season, the warm sun on my face, the moon and stars at night, the mossy pond, crickets, rabbits, and furry caterpillers. It was all delightful for the senses to take in the beauty of nature and its sounds.
The most beautiful part of the 10 day process was on the last day when we could finally talk to one other. It was like we all knew each other or were part of a family for that two weeks. There was so much joy and kindness, compassion that had been developed. We talked like we had known each other for years. When the bell for the last meditation rang we walked together in one big group, stopping to look at a rabbit and a flock of geese overhead as the sun set and weather cooled down. We laughed and talked like an old group of friends, no cameras or phones or pictures being taken, just a group of people enjoying themselves. The authenticity of being with a group of people and no one trying to promote themself on social media was refreshing.
On the last day, I was nervous about going back into the world. I started driving around 7am, seeing the sun rise as I drove was like leaving a dream. When I got home I felt like a different person, physically and mentally. It was strange being in the world again after 10 days of silence and meditation. The people around me unaware of what I had discovered within myself.